Defending Your Life

The Closet Confessional is currently on hiatus, seeking courage and joy. Feel free to follow along here and here.

Everybody Vs. Cancer

I'm going to get serious for a minute (if you follow me on Instagram, you probably already know why).

This past week has been extremely emotional and difficult for me. Two weeks ago I began experiencing constant pressure in my chest and shortness of breath. All too familiar symptoms. Cancer symptoms.

On Monday, I met with my radiologist to discuss a possible relapse. On Tuesday. I got poked and prodded and scanned. On Wednesday, I waited. I waited the longest 22 hours and 52 minutes of my life. I waited as each passing second felt like an eternity. As anyone who has had cancer and has then relapsed from cancer can attest, every single second feels like a torturous lifetime.

I was lucky. After spending my time in limbo panicking (because getting cancer for the third time in as many years does not typically yield positive outcomes) and attempting to not completely lose it, my scans came back clean. Three days before my 3rd year of clean scans.

So on October 3rd, I took a deep breath and celebrated making it to 3 years.

I'm not totally in the clear yet (medically, I'm not "cancer free" until year 5). Because of previous cancer treatments, I am still dealing with health issues every day. My thyroid remains out of control. My body doesn't properly absorb nutrients, meaning I am severely deficient in most of my vitamins regardless of how  much green juice I consume. My digestive system is in full on dysfunction mode. The pressure in my chest still needs to be addressed.

But all of that? I can deal with. Because all of that? Is not fucking cancer.

Life is crazy and unpredictable, so take a moment and appreciate it. And I promise on Wednesday, I'll be back to our regularly scheduled program, appreciating clothing and shoes and accessories.

tee: detroit vs. everybody

skirt: zara (similar here)

shoes: zara (similar here)

clutch: clare v. via willys detroit

Be Awesome

On Wednesday I had my 18 month cancer scan. As you can imagine, the anticipation, the actual scan, and the waiting for the results is a stressful situation. So I decided to give myself permission to take the day off from blogging and just BE. Instead I spent the day napping, watching terrible tv, and organizing my books. Sometimes you just need a day to organize your books.

Our regularly scheduled programming will be back on Monday. Enjoy your weekend!